Interview with Jose Antonio and Eva
Can you introduce yourselves a little to us?
E.: Well, I’m Eva, I’m 31 years old and I’m a physiotherapist, although I most like to describe myself as a Mum, because that’s what is most dear to me. I love sport, I love theatre, going to the cinema and going on walks with my friends.
J.A.: I’m José Antonio, I’m 34 years old and I teach music among other things. I have the good fortune to be married to Eva and to have three children: Pablo, David and Laura.
How did your courtship begin?
E.: Both of us were members of Catholic Action, and we used to go to the same activities. There were other boys and girls, but little by little we fell in love. We began to go out together when we went to Santiago de Compostela to the World Youth Day with the Pope. He asked me to go out with him on the Mountain of Joy.
How did you discover your vocation to matrimony?
E.: Since I was very little I always dreamed of having a family and it was always what most attracted me, but it is also true that I have considered a different vocation, in Retreats and other times, but it never felt right. It always seemed to me that God wanted me to form my own family.
J.A.: More or less the same happened to me, especially in Retreats when you ask yourself more seriously if you should consecrate yourself to the Lord in the priesthood, in the religious life, but the fact is that in many years of prayer I have never felt the call to the priesthood. I saw clearly then, that it had to be marriage, and much more so when I met up with Eva.
Have you always thought the same?
J.A.: In the fundamental things, yes. Especially when it comes to forming a family, you have to think the same. For example, you can’t have one who believes in God and the other doesn’t, or have different ideas about the essential things, because this would make the marriage much more difficult. In the smaller issues we do have different points of view and sometimes there are little clashes, but there are funny occasions too. For example, she follows Atlético de Madrid and I follow Real Madrid. In this matter there is never agreement.
In what way has the formation you both received in Catholic Action helped you, and all the work you have done there?
E.: It has been fundamental in my life. The Christian formation that they gave us has helped me to know what I want. Having spent so many years in contact with children has really helped me with my own children.
J.A.: For me also Catholic Action has been fundamental. Otherwise I would have been just like so many others who have no enthusiasm, no religious life or anything like it. It has helped me a lot, not only on a spiritual level; it has also been the best possible preparation for marriage. Nowhere else could I have learnt as much about working with young people and with children as I did in the summer-camps.
Does working together for God give unity to your marriage?
E.: It is what most unites us. Prayer is also extremely important and God is always pouring graces over us. Family prayer, above all. Whenever we have some little quarrel, prayer has always put us quickly back on track.
You have mentioned prayer; can you describe your spiritual life?
J.A.: At quite a young age we learned to lead an interior life, to have a relationship with God. It’s about doing the simple things, like praying in the morning, at night, doing the examination of conscience and of course the basic essentials of any spiritual life which are the Mass, the Eucharist, the Rosary, which we pray together whenever we can. As the children get older they will pray it with us, even though it entails effort.
E.: We also read spiritual books, a half an hour every day, books that give us spiritual sustenance, because the world is in a bad way and it’s important not to drift away from God. It is so important to dedicate time to God.
Being married and having so much work to do, is it possible to lead that kind of a life? Can you make time for God?
E.: Yes, I believe that if you really want to make time, all you need is to want to and to know how to organise yourself. God is so good that He makes it very easy for us because you don’t need to go anywhere to talk to Him. You can pray any time and anywhere. The Rosary, for example, is a very important and fruitful prayer and you can pray it as you are walking, or ironing. I pray the Rosary at home while I wash the dishes, and if some day I don’t have much time because I have organised things badly, there are audiotapes with meditations or with the lives of the saints... But you have to make time for what is most important, just like we make time for eating, for feeding our body. It is much more important to make time for feeding the soul, no matter where it may be and no matter how much effort it may cost. Some days you can perhaps do a little less than others but you must always try to make time for the most important thing of all.
You mentioned earlier the difficulties. When a difficulty arises in your marriage, how do you solve it?
J.A.: Of course there are difficulties. You have people living together with their different obsessions, our different needs, and there are inevitably moments in which interests clash and we have problems. They’re not big ones, thanks be to God, but even so we have to overcome them with the most possible affection, investing a lot of love. That way things are forgotten, you always try to forgive and think most of what is best about the other person so that you can forgive and forget more quickly.
Talk to us now about your children. What are they like? 
E.: Very mischievous. Pablo is four years old, he’s very good even though you mightn’t think it. He’s a very clever boy, he’s always asking questions about things, he’d make your head spin. He’s also quite shy. David is very affectionate, a bit rough around the edges, very sharp. Laura is eight months old, she’s very special, very pretty. In the fourth month of the pregnancy the doctor told me it was almost certain that she would be born with a cerebral lesion. We went through a very bad time because it was a very hard blow. The doctor even spoke to me of abortion and, thanks be to God, I considered that an insult, we didn’t even think of it. We prayed a lot that she would be born okay and that if not God would give us the strength to carry it if it was what He wanted. We asked a lot of people to pray that things would turn out alright and thanks be to God she was born on the 18th of January and she’s a very healthy and intelligent baby. This helped me a lot. It also made me think of those mothers who have abortions in cases like mine.
What are your priorities in the matter of education? What is the most important thing in the education of children?
J.A.: Our priorities are the ones we have been taught, which are those of the Catholic religion. The most important thing is to raise them with faith in Jesus so that they grow up knowing God, so that they love Him more and more, bearing in mind that He has given them to us and that they are souls which we must return to Him. So, parting from that basis, everything else, like which school to send them to, etc... follows. The most important thing is to raise them according to God’s will.
Is it difficult to maintain a life of faith and values in the world around you?
E.: Yes it is difficult, because the atmosphere in the world, unfortunately, drags you with it quite a lot. It’s very materialistic. And it is difficult to live a life of poverty when the world is telling you that money is all that’s important, and that if you don’t have money you’re not going to be happy, if you don’t have money you have to get it no matter what, even if it means stealing it, even if it means cheating someone... And it’s all a lie. We all know that money doesn’t give happiness, that happiness comes from helping one another, from giving your life for others, but of course it is difficult to maintain these values. The communications media are in a very bad way. It is difficult but it’s not impossible because with God you can do everything. As a priest friend of ours says, “God and I, an absolute majority”. You have to trust very much in Him and ask Him for strength to help us to survive in this world we’re living in.
You have also mentioned motherhood; what does being a mother mean to you?
E.: It’s a great mystery, it’s beyond understanding, it’s something that confirms to you that God exists, because it’s impossible that something so wonderful as a human life can come out of you like that, it’s the greatest thing there is. On each of the three occasions, when I found out that I was pregnant I was filled with joy and gave thanks to God. When you discover you’re pregnant you immediately feel enveloped in an aura of happiness, of intense, intimate love towards that child that they have just told you you are carrying in your womb, who is going to grow. All you want to do from the beginning is protect it, love it with all your heart in a way that I think only a mother can really understand.
What about the difficulties? What’s the most difficult thing for a mother?
E.: You have to be looking after them constantly. It’s beautiful but at the same time it’s a lot of responsibility and it can scare you a little. To a great extent your children’s future depends on you, the kind of persons they are going to become. I know that they follow my example, which obliges me to be better, which is a help. You have the obligation to lead them to God. God has given them to you and God is their destiny, so your mission consists of bringing them to Him. For example, when you read the lives of the saints, at the beginning of the book they always tell you a little about the saint’s family and in most cases they grew up in a pious atmosphere, their mother taught them to pray, their father was very good. This always makes me think. If I want my children to be holy, the first thing I have to do is be holy myself.
What is the role of José Antonio in your family?
E.: The role of father. It is an indispensable role in the family. My children love him very much and when he is out of home working or doing messages, they immediately ask: “Where’s Dad?”. When he opens the door they immediately run to embrace him. He has a very important role. He teaches them values that only he can teach them. The children watch him very closely, they want to be like their Dad. He plays with them, he teaches them many things. In short, they have a very good relationship. And as for me, his role is also fundamental for me because you know that you have a shoulder that you can always lean on, a friend to trust in. He also tells you that the dinner is very good and you know he’s always there in the worst moments and the best ones. I think that the family that doesn’t have a father inevitably loses a lot.
What virtues would you highlight in José Antonio?
E.: He is very peaceful, I’ve never heard him speak badly of anyone, he’s very good. And he also knows how to forgive very quickly, he forgets things quickly. What else? He’s very good.
What is the role of your wife Eva in the family?
J.A.: It’s true what the saying says, that the wife is always the boss, right? That’s how it is in the best families and that’s how it is in mine. Eva is the one who calls the shots, who controls things, who carries things in general. My personality has a lot to do with this, because I’m more scattered, I’m a musician, so I’m more bohemian. She is very important to me, I can’t even think of life without Eva beside me, often solving the problems I have.
And what virtues would you highlight in Eva?
J.A.: She probably has very many, but I think particulary of those that complement me well. I mean those that help me to be better. For example, she has a lot of strength of will when it comes to doing everything she has set out to do. She is always going ahead, she has a lot of will power. This combines very well with her magnanimity. She always has her sights set on what is most important, she always knows that the most important thing at the end of the day is to be holy. I am grateful to her for this, because thanks to her I keep faithful, she helps me very much in this aspect. I really appreciate all these virtues. She is also very logical. She always manages to find the right solution in each moment. I often fall down in this, I have problems or I can’t find the right solution, and she is the one who provides it. Then there’s her joyfulness, her love of life, her humility... so many things...
What does being a father mean to you?
J.A.: Well, it’s very important because it means being a cooperator with God in the creation of new beings, which entails a great responsibility, especially when you see what the world is like nowadays. You realise that you have three persons in your hands, not only their bodies but also their souls and you have to nurture the physical and the spiritual in them. This is often complicated because you see yourself to be full of faults, you see that you are often not the true model, the ideal model that you should be.
How do you think we can reach the children and the young people in these times?
J.A.: Basically by offering them true models, models that reflect the principal model who is Christ. Educators can reach them by always being faithful to their work and always consistent with what they believe because, even though we may not realise it, those of us who are Christians are under observation. The other teachers all know what my position is and they take care not to say barbarities in front of me or to mention certain subjects, because, even though I have my faults, they know they’re dealing with a Christian. The students also notice it. They need a model. Of course I have to improve very much because I’m not the ideal model, but the point is that they need people, they need models in whom they can see the reality of the virtues, because these young people have been born into a world dominated by the image, by television, by movies, and they are not very used to thinking and reflecting on things for themselves.
