Home of the Mother

Mamie and the Youth

By Fr. Rafael Alonso Reymundo

Mamie possessed a special delicacy in speaking with young people. Her relationship with them was not in order to make decisions which did not correspond to her. Her labor was to direct, support, encourage, understand, be with them, follow them in their problems and to listen to them, above all to listen to them. She knew how to respect their freedom. However, she did give appropriate counsels when she saw the possibility of the opening of the young person’s heart.

Her state as an elderly and ill woman, her natural sympathy, her simple and constant example of giving herself into the hands of God in order to do always and in everything His will were positive conditions which attracted confidence. She had nothing to do with that self-centered egoism or that sour, apparent virtue which frightens more than it attracts. She was joyful, to the point of laughing together with the young people, taking part in their games.

She was the perfect one to guide, due to her union with God who had granted her an uncommon capacity to open wounded hearts, directing her words to that which is essential, with a humor and with that is characteristic of the great saints like St. Teresa of Avila. They went to her like baby chicks to their mother, seeking protection and help. She had the ability to do so without ever wounding and without taking the place of those who should make the decisions of their own lives.

She never pushed any one to consecrate themselves, nor did she discourage anyone from doing so. She encouraged them to take on an interior attitude of listening to God and ask Him to show them what it was that He wanted of them. It seems to me that I have her here close to the computer where I am writing, hearing her words: “My son, look in your heart. You are the one who has to decide. Look well at what it is that Our Lord expects from you. And do it. If you see that Our Lord asks you to form a family, it is a wonderful way to serve Our Lord. But do not separate yourself from Him. Take care of your soul.”

More or less these could be the words which do not contradict her spirit. Because, even though she was an instrument chosen by God in an extraordinary way, she had been married, mother of one daughter, and a widow. Now elderly, she knew how to go straight towards that which is essential, making use of her rich experience, both that which was natural as well as that which was supernatural.

It is not strange that from among those young people there arose the desire to give themselves to God, whom this elderly woman manifested as so attractive and near. And others, not called to consecrated life, formed exemplary families who preserve in their hearts a thankfulness and closeness to the one who was their spiritual mother during a stormy period of time. Of the young people who knew Mamie, some serve God in contemplative orders, others in active orders, some as consecrated lay, others as priests. And there has also arisen two institutions, one of women, the Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother, and another of men, the Servant Priests and Brothers of the Home of the Mother. And the two have a clear vocation to bring the youth to Jesus Christ.

Speaking with Anne Sophie

Can you introduce yourself?
My name is Anne Sophie. I am 26 years old and I am originally from the west of France. I am the oldest in a Catholic family of five children.

What was the education like that your parents gave you?
My father and my mother, ever since I was small, have educated me in the Faith, the root of which is in love and a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus. When I was very little, I already had the desire to make my First

Holy Communion and to take the saints as a model to build my life. I loved them very much because of their determination in following Christ, even though they were conscious of their littleness. St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Joan of Arc (for her courage, her strength), St. Peter (who is a great sinner, but has a great love), St. John Bosco (for his love for the youth), St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Anthony, St. Maximiliam Kolbe, the holy Cure of Ars… it’s very difficult to choose!

How was the faith lived in your home?
We have always prayed together as a family and our parents, by their choice in life, showed us ever since we were young to love the poor and to give ourselves to others. One year, for example, we spent Christmas Day out on the streets with the poor, instead of getting together with the family, like everyone else. It was a great sacrifice for me, that required me to detach myself from others… and nevertheless that Christmas was one of the best Christmas’ of my life and I understood better the joy of the poor that were there with the Holy Family in the stable. I very quickly realized that we did not lead the same life that the majority of the people led. When I was little, I was proud of that; later, during my teenage years, it was harder to accept. But these strong experiences touched my heart and I knew that the path that led towards God was there.

Have you ever been part of any association for youth?
As a teenager, I was in a Catholic girl scouts movement. It was for me the first place, after my family, where I was able to build my personality and which helped me to maintain my faith firm at school. There I found true friends, good priests who made me grow spiritually, and a place to live in love and in truth with others. It responded also to my thirst for an ideal. At that time I was preparing myself for Confirmation. It was a very important preparation for me, because it meant that I had to choose Christ definitively as the Lord of my life. I think that that was my first adult commitment.

And later on?
I had to leave my family in order to continue my studies. Politics and sociology greatly attracted me, because it responded to my thirst for an ideal. That is why I began to study sociology and culture with the idea that I could dedicate myself to the service of mankind. I saw myself in an anti-clerical universe, where everything that I represented was hated by the other students and professors. The only way to change our relationship was to understand the reasons for their reactions and to learn to love them, while remaining in the truth. There were difficult days on which everyone was aggressive and they laughed at me because I had never had sexual relationships, for example… My consolation was to be able to see my friends again in the afternoon, the scouts with whom I also went to adoration and Mass. Their friendship and personal prayer were a great support for me.

Did you learn something from this situation?
It is difficult, when one is in an unhealthy environment, not to let oneself be contaminated. In this case, my friends and family permitted me not to live alone and, therefore, not to get lost. Looking back, that taught me the goodness of the human heart. Once I understood that I did not have to try to convert them and that I myself also fell, my point of view on them changed, our relationship changed. My convictions and values spoke to them! As the students began to know me, they opened themselves up to me. Some had had a very hard life and they finally found someone with whom they could talk. I realized how lucky I was to know that I was loved and how many young people had a thirst for something more than what they had heard up until that time. The other difficulty during this period was that of not doing too many things at once… I had too many commitments in many political, religious, and youth associations. My free time was completely full, divided among my friends, evening get-togethers or meetings, and my many other, diverse responsibilities. In the end, my life was not very ordered because on one hand I did too much and on the other I left great empty spaces of time. This sometimes even deteriorated my relationship with my family because when I returned to my parent’s house it was either to go out or to sleep!

Was there something that moved you to changed?
Fortunately, during the Jubilee year, while I was at my parent’s house one weekend, I went to a Eucharistic adoration prayer vigil that was organized at our parish. There, before the Blessed Sacrament, I was particularly touched by Jesus. Contemplating Him in the Eucharist, I experimented the mercy of the Father and I realized how much He loved me for what I was, and not for what I did. I realized that I was spending my life doing things for Him, but that I did not take the time to direct my strength and my love towards Him. I realized that He was inviting me to dwell in Him, in His intimacy; that I could only announce His love to others in the measure in which I did not continue to take time to live for myself.

Did this lead you to change anything in your life?
I finished my studies and I decided to dedicate a year to doing humanitarian work… in the end, I realized that a year in the International School of Evangelization was more suitable to Our Lord’s plans for me. This School, led by the Emmanuel Community, located in Paray-le-Monial (the city where Christ showed His Heart to St. Margaret Mary) offers an intellectual, spiritual, human and missionary formation to young people throughout the world. In the course of this year, which was so full of fruits, I learned to put into order the gift of myself, channelling in prayer the love that I was to announce. I learned to approach the Heart of Jesus without the fear of giving Him everything because, as St. Therese of Lisieux says, He wants to give us everything! I discovered how much God wants to make us free men and women! The regular going to confession also played its part in untying the knots and the wounds that impeded me from getting up again.
Naturally, the question of my vocation was presented to me, not without fears (false ideas, fear of what others would say, sight of my own incapacity). With the help of a priest, I disposed myself to be completely open to the calling of Our Lord, especially during one year in which I prayed to the Virgin Mary and to St. Therese of Lisieux for this intention. Mary is our Mama and She teaches us. She herself did not know much about where her Fiat would lead her. She discovered it step by step! Her faith in the Annunciation, her joy in the Magnificat, her strength at the foot of the Cross, her hope on Holy Saturday are examples that show us how She proceeds us on the path of Faith. She has helped me to discover the importance of living the present moment with trust. She protects me against the attacks against purity. She is full of strength and of sweetness. Her entire life is the Eucharist. She gives us Jesus. St. Louis de Montfort said that where Mary is found, there the Holy Spirit is found. With her everything goes much more quickly. Thus, we have to take advantage of this! St. Therese makes my desire for holiness and my love for the Church grow. She, who was full of ardor and of great desires without ever leaving her Carmelite convent, has been named patron of the missions! Through her, I have discovered that we can be both weak and at the same time have the right to feel great desires. Having an experience of our weakness is a way to experiment better the mercy of God. Without Him we can truly do nothing! Looking at her, I have understood that, be whatever our choice and state of life be, our true vocation is Love.

And what was the result of this experience?
That year finished without any particular calling. In compensation, my vision of each state of life changed and I found myself with a great peace in my heart which permitted me to continue advancing. At present, I feel deeply that whatever our life may be, Our Lord wants to fill our hearts and He will never deceive us. Our deepest vocation is to live in His love and respond to Him freely. The most important thing is to seek to do His will. While waiting, I live my celibacy in the joy and in the sure hope that Our Lord directs me. There are difficult moments, but I am convinced that it is a time in which Our Lord prepares me and forms me. In addition, I see Him in my life, and this permits me to go deeper into my relationship with Him. My vocation as a woman is very important in a society which has lost so many defenses. In order to keep giving of myself, I have chosen to continue with the Emmanuel Community which I discovered during my time at the School of Evangelization. This community is made up of priests, consecrated, families, and youth. Its charism is to live the “Emmanuel, God with us” in our every day life. Its spirituality is strongly tied to the message of the Sacred Heart and, therefore, to the Eucharist. This mission is carried out through Evangelization, Adoration and Compassion. Through this community I receive brothers in the faith in order to continue my journey towards Christ, leading a life in the world. As Our Lord is coherent in our lives and listens to our desires, I was offered the possibility of working in politics in the service of the youth and of culture! For two years, I did the work that I had dreamed to do while I was studying. Our Lord truly knows what we need and, when we give Him our life, He fills us with His gifts. Afterwards, one afternoon, they suggested that I come to work in Rome, in the service of the Holy Father and the youth, bearing the responsibility of the International Youth Center of St. Laurence.

What is the mission of this Center?
This center, created by the Holy Father, has as its mission the taking in of young people from throughout the world who make pilgrimages to Rome, in order to help them to enter into the grace of the Church and to have the experience of the World Youth Days in their every day lives. Thus, I have accepted this mission with trust. It is a great joy for me to work for the Pope in Rome. I was born during the first year of his pontificate and here I am in his service, he who has loved the youth so greatly. This courageous man, witness without weakening the Truth, passionate defender of life, helps us to take on his gaze of hope and of fatherly love.

What is the Eucharist for you?
At the beginning of this year, the Year of the Eucharist commenced. For me, the Eucharist is truly the source of our life, because it is from it that we obtain our capacity to love and where we learn to let ourselves be loved. It is in the Eucharist where we can take refuge and find Christ. It is where we receive life. In the Eucharist we can enclose all our poverty and all our wealth. We let Him speak to our heart and we learn to love. His year will be crowned by the World Youth Day in August 2005, in Cologne. The theme is “We have come to worship Him.” (Mt. 2:2) My job in Rome also consists in inviting the young people who pass through Rome to take on the attitude of the wise men in order to set out and follow the star. In Cologne, they are invited to go to worship Him with the youth of the whole world. What I wish for them is that they find the person of Christ, contemplating Him in the Eucharist and that they experience His Love, which is unique for each one; that they see in His gaze how much He loves them and that on the way back they become with their lives witnesses that are full of hope in this love… above all that they not be afraid, it is worth the effort.

Yes, It is Possible!

I have been prompted to write to you by the concern I feel for children and young people. I want especially to address you children, adolescents, youths, but also you parents and educators.

It makes me feel really sad to see how they seek to dirty you, how they try to “educate” you with criteria contrary to the Faith and to the dignity of man: chastity is not in fashion and virginity or celibacy is an illness that has to be attacked as soon as possible. Love has been completely distorted and they present it to us as just another animal movement, pleasurable but empty. Such poverty!

The fact that virginity is a virtue beloved by God is shown to us in the event of the virginal Conception of Mary. God performed a miracle not only in the conception but also in the birth.

We are all called to live in chastity, each one in his own situation. But especially you young people, mind your purity! So that your soul will be pure, transparent, innocent. It is better to be seen to be a fool in the eyes of the world than to immerse yourself in that quicksand that brings you to death.

I was once a child and then adolescent. And I know that when one is small one laughs at all these advices that older people give you. Later, when you grow a little, you find out how right they were, and sometimes it is too late, and the damage is done. That is why I would like to tell you my experience.

I was a normal, ordinary little girl, well-behaved and a little innocent. Between eight and nine years of age my street friends began to dirty my soul: dirty jokes (which I often didn’t understand), about how children are made, about love-making...all in a gross and vulgar tone. The result of infantile curiosity badly satisfied, which then takes pleasure in communicating its corruption to others. Destroying what love truly is, and dirtying the beauty and greatness of the true union between man and woman.

Of course, at that age the sexual instinct is not yet physically developed, but the desire to be bigger, to do what the others do, to imitate what you see on telly, to practise what is forbidden... all of this contributes to the psychological development of the carnal desire in us.
Without noticing and almost without even wanting it, all of this was making its impression in my soul. The period of development came and without realizing it, I discovered sexual pleasure. When, through studying religion, I found out that what I was doing was masturbation, it was already too late. I already had the bad habit and I didn’t know how to free myself of it. I was trapped. And even though I fought against it at times, I only succeeded in burying myself in it more and more. I gave up hope and surrendered myself fully to passion.

Only God knows what aberrations and grossnesses a child is capable of desiring in his interior. Only God knows the damage that is done by all those images, conversations, readings and fantasies in the impressionable soul of a child. The Lord says (Mt. 5, 25-29) that if a man looks at a woman lustfully he has already committed adultery with her in his heart. This teaching is hard but certain. I have experienced it in myself.

Please, parents and educators, take care of the souls of your children and young people. Mold them with your example, that they may see in you a clean, chaste, modest deportment. Be attentive to the programs, reading, musical idols and friends that accompany them. Rather than prohibit, which is usually more of an incentive than an impediment, talk with them, explaining things to them at their level with simplicity. Give them coherent reasons (natural and supernatural) as to why they shouldn’t do this or that. Talk to them about God and the Virgin, about love for Them and the desire not to offend Them, their greatest protectors. And above all, pray and do sacrifices for them (Mt. 21, 22) so that the Lord may protect them and guard them from evil and keep their souls clean and pure. Let their models be the saints and Our Mother. See to it that there is enthusiasm in their lives, procure good reading material for them, good films, music, friends, priests, and religious in whom they can trust and seek advice and through whose help they can get nearer to the Heart of Christ.

Stimulate them to work, to study. Idleness is the best friend of impurity. Help them learn to be generous, to concern themselves with the needs of others, and animate them to fulfill themselves in the measure of their potential and possibilities.

Christ is our best Friend and the only one who can give us true happiness. How many times for just a few seconds of bitter pleasure I have lost the One, the only One for whom it is worth it to give all the time in the world! Young people, keep intact the flower of your innocence, that it may not perish before its time! So that when the right time comes, the time desired by God, you may open yourself to life like a beautiful rose in clean and loving surrender to your spouse, or offer yourself fresh and covered in dew to the Creator of all things as an oblation of thanksgiving.

Thanks be to God, at fifteen years of age, the Lord came in search of me and I let myself be captured by his love. The purification has been slow, because the psychological need that is created by vice is greater even than the physical. There have been falls, but the Lord is always there to lift me up again and to embrace me anew. Now when the devil tempts me, when the flesh cries out to me, or the world incites me, I trust in the One who has given his life to save me, and I offer those hard, sad moments of temptation or recollection of my past life, for all of you children and young people who are trapped in the nets of impurity, so that the Lord may grant you the grace to emerge victorious with Him.

Courage! Do not permit the enemy to discourage or disarm you. I tell you that you can win, on your own no, but with Christ yes. “Be courageous, I have conquered the world” (Jn. 16, 33).
Yes, it is possible to live in chastity. Lean on Mary and do not fear. In your misery the Lord loves you with madness, and scorns not to look upon you as his child. Love him with all your heart, and for Him love all others, because the exercise of charity covers a multitude of sins. Heaven is full of great sinners who repented. Saint Mary Magdalene is now among the “virgins” who accompany the Lamb. You too can be there.

Thomas Aquinas, Humble and Indomitable Youth

Thomas Aquinas, as his biographers tell us, was a young man of great stature and strong complexion. At first sight, he was a fighter like his parents and siblings. Nevertheless, it is said that he was an amiable and courteous youth. It suffices to consider that, having a privileged, above average, intelligence, what stood out in him, to those who knew him, was not his intelligence but rather his humility.

From his classmates in the university during his student years in Cologne, there are conserved some remembrances of his life which speak of his gentleness, discretion, and meekness. Once, to mock him, since he was always lost in his own thoughts, they wanted to play a trick on him. One of his classmates looked out the window and said to him, “Look, Brother Thomas, a flying ox!” Thomas, coming out of his concentration, went over to the window and strained his eyes in order to see the prodigy. All of the students burst out into laughter, having ascertained Thomas’ simplicity. But he calmly replied: “Why do you laugh? I find it easier to believe that an ox can fly than a Dominican lie.”

This humble condition, which captivated the hearts of the great and the small, didn’t save him, however, from the miscomprehensions of his family nor the harsh oppositions which they posed to his vocation. Saint Thomas was certainly not understood by those at home. At the beginning of the year 1244 (Thomas was 19 years old), a year before the death of his father, he asked the Prior for admission into the Dominicans at Naples. He did so without consulting his family, foreseeing the hostility that such a decision would receive.

His mother, the duchess of Aquinas, having heard what her son had done, did indeed not wish to allow her distinguished son to enter into a mendicant order. The noble lady does not waste time thinking: she sends her two other sons to forcibly capture Thomas and bring him to her presence. They find him on the way to Rome, where the friars were taking him in order to save him from the threats of the duchess. They throw themselves by surprise upon Thomas like lions, trying to wrest his habit from him. However, he holds onto it so tightly that it is impossible for them to take it off. Habit and all, they seize him and take him to their mother, who literally locks him in a fortress which belongs to the family. There, for a year and a half, he suffers all types of attempts and (immoral!) temptations against his vocation. In the end, he frees himself from the imprisonment of his family by being lowered in a basket from the tower’s window with the help of his sisters. Thomas comes out of this trial very strengthened in virtue and in his vocation.

The saint’s doctrine is also forged by his own experience. Saint Thomas does not doubt in affirming: “In this matter (the vocation) neither family nor relations are consulted, because in this they are not friends, but enemies, according to what Our Savior teaches us: ‘A man’s foes will be those of his own household.’ (Mt. 10:36)” (Contra retr. a relig., c. IX).

St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori is of the same train of thought. At 72 years of age and suffering the illness which would take him to death, he wrote in his “Practice of the love of Jesus Christ: If a young person is called to religious life and his parents are against it, he is obliged to obey God and not his parents, who for their own interests oppose the spiritual good of their children. And they prefer that their children be condemned for all eternity - as St. Bernard writes – than that they abandon and leave their house. It is a frightening thing to see certain mothers and fathers, who in spite of having a great fear of God, they being, led by passion, tire themselves in inventing thousands of ways to hinder the vocation of their son who desires to become a religious. This way of acting, except in very strange cases, cannot be excused from being mortal sin.”

And quoting St. Thomas, he said, “And if, in order to obey the calling of God to a state of greater perfection, children are not obliged to ask for their parent’s advice, even less obliged are they to ask their parent’s consent or permission, especially when there are valid suspicions that their request will be unjustly denied, or that they will put obstacles to their vocation.” St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Peter of Alcantara, St. Francis Xavier, St. Louis Beltran, and many more, entered into religious life without the knowledge of their parents.”

Only the authority of the saints and doctors of the Church can speak with this strength. Thanks be to God that there are also families who willingly give their consent (even though they still suffer the pain of the separation) to their children who wish to follow their vocation. But those who have a family who neither understands nor defends their vocation must see these saints as their elder brothers that understand, defend and sweeten the trial with their light.

There is no doubt that St. Thomas possessed, in the greatest amount, audacity to seek the truth, freedom of spirit to affront new problems, and intellectual worthiness. ("Lumen Ecclesiae", Paul VI)

In order to be a good minister of the divine wisdom four qualities are necessary: innocence, wisdom, zeal and obedience. (St. Thomas Aquinas)

By Sr. Isabel Cuesta, S.H.M.