Home of the Mother

Mamie

By Fr. Rafael Alonso

On January 25th, 2006, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI gave the entire Church the gift of his first encyclical: Deus Caritas Est. There the Pope speaks to us about the Christian love, agape, which is a love of communion, unselfish service and self-giving.

If Mamie distinguished herself in anything it would be precisely her capacity to love.

One day, opening her heart in prayer, she said to Our Mother, “Dear Mama, I have not been spared any type of suffering. I have had them all: physical, moral, spiritual...”

She told me that she felt in her heart that Our Mother responded, “Yes, my daughter, Our Lord has so desired it that you might understand those who come to you with their sufferings.”

Mamie’s capacity to console was certainly much greater than simply noteworthy. All who would approach her with any type of suffering would truly receive consolation. The most remarkable thing is that she did not use the typical words of consolation, now worn away by frivolous and routine use, which we find so often on people’s lips.

Mamie was able to teach the person who suffered their responsibility to accept and offer up the suffering. She did not say this from the position of a person who has never suffered and who wants to find words of encouragement for the person who suffers. She did it from her own experience which was in complete harmony with the pains of the person suffering.

I have thus seen her console people who were at the point of being abandoned by their spouse, husbands or wives who were afraid to go to their house because it was like entering into purgatory, people who were about to lose their sight, people who suffered from arteriosclerosis, cancer, psychological disorders in the family, economical problems, etc.

So many faces rush to my mind, so many people who went to her for help with their limitations and sufferings. I’ve watched Mamie go up to the wheel chair of a sick neighbor who could no longer walk, gaze deeply into her eyes and say, “My daughter, Our Lord loves you so much, if you could only see how much Our Lord loves you, there now, there now, don’t complain any longer and offer this up, Our Lord suffered much more for you.”

They were not words which came from a spiritual and physical vigor but rather words full of comprehension and reverence for the suffering of a neighbor.

When I read the encyclical of the Pope, the figure of Christ who appears as the God of mercy and the figure of so many christs who have lived their lives in sanctity have come to my mind. In the midst of this multitude of anonymous but living Christians is also present the figure of our dear sister Mamie.

How I Met the Home

Ana M. Lapeña Parreño

We always define the Home as the gift which the Lord wishes to make to His Mother and the members of the Home feel that we are souls whom Our Mother has chosen for herself. I think that Our Mother chose me for herself when my parents consecrated me to Her when I was little, touching me to the mantle of Our Lady of the Pillar.

I do not remember who taught me how to pray three Hail Mary’s before going to bed. I learned the Hail Holy Queen from a teacher at school and I prayed it every night because I liked it, even though I didn’t understand it. I write this because I think that those first prayers were fundamental and, even though I didn’t understand what I said, Our Lady did not forget the “turn thine eyes of mercy towards us” nor the “pray for us sinners.”

As I grew up and entered my teenage years, I began to make wrong decisions. Thanks be to God my conscience never forsook me, even though I found it very difficult to go to confession and would put it off. As an excuse, I tried to convince myself that God did not exist. I began to feel a great repulsion for the Church, which I accused of false things. I rejected God saying that He was not good. However, in the depth of my heart, I did not believe all this and I was very uneasy because the more I sinned the more unsatisfied I felt. I became a slave of my vices and in a certain sense I despised myself. This is the trick of the devil: first he shows you an attractive bubble and makes you think that you’ll be happy; but then it bursts in your hands and leaves you immersed and embittered in your misery. There are people who say, “Can a 14 year old teenager actually think about all this?” Of course! Teenagers are not idiots and when I was 14 years old I asked myself about the meaning of my life and I searched for the truth.

In my last year of middle school I met a few girls of the Home. They were in my class and one day at recess I said that God did not exist and I justified this by saying that there were only stars in the heavens and nothing more. I felt that I had just written a doctoral thesis. Now I turn red by just remembering this. I was very full of myself when a girl came up to me and said, “Don’t say that. God does exist.” I responded, “Prove it to me.” She said, “I do not know how to prove it to you, but He does exist. I know it. He listens to me. I’m sure of it.” Of course, I ridiculed her with my silly arguments. Apparently I was the one who had won in that conversation; however I felt such remorse that a few days later I asked her and her Christian friends to help me to believe. I told them that I wanted to but couldn’t. They invited me to some meetings which they attended. I don’t know why I went. Now I think about it and it doesn’t make sense. It is as if someone picked me up and took me without my realizing it. A Servant Sister of the Home of the Mother, Sr. Maria, led the meeting and all that I could think of while I was listening was, “This is the truth.”

I desired to enter the Home of the Mother and I began to go to Mass on Sundays and attend the meetings. However, I was only half-way there. It was as if I were walking on the edge of a precipice and I spent more time down below than up above because I didn’t leave my old way of life. Finally, I decided to truly fight for holiness during a summer encounter of the Home. Some people who know me say that they brainwashed me there, but it’s not true. It was my soul that was washed, and not by people but by Jesus Christ. What made me decide to change was a very strong experience that I had with Him. One day while I was in the chapel, with great force I heard in my soul, “Follow me or leave me!” I thus understood that Our Lord preferred me not to follow Him than that I follow him with mediocrity. In that moment I felt completely free. I knew that I had to choose. I knew that He was the Truth. I knew that happiness was found in Him because I had experienced it, but I also knew that following Him would cost me suffering. I decided to follow Him and I opened my soul to the immense quantity of graces which He wanted to give me. A few days later, the Sisters spoke to us about vocations, not only the vocation to religious life but also to marriage. They said that we had to open ourselves to whatever Our Lord wanted of us. I remember that I went to the chapel and said to the Lord, “Lord, if You want it, I would love for you to choose me for Yourself and be able to respond for all the souls who do not do so. But show me Your will. I want whatever You want.” Now I see clearly what He responded. It was something like this, “Yes, I accept your offering.” However, in that moment I did not see it so clearly. Perhaps because I was not ready or because I was afraid, but the truth is that now I remember it as if it were only yesterday and I have absolutely not doubt that He said this to me. When I understood it, I was filled with joy and with desires to be very generous with the One who would be my Spouse.

I had to wait four years to enter as a candidate. During this time I had to fight for my vocation and many people tried to prevent me from following it. Sometimes I am asked, “How could you remain faithful for so long?” I attribute it to the fact that I have always tried to remain faithful to my time of prayer and that I have always tried to be sincere and fulfill God’s will. This is a sure path. However, above all, my presence here now is due to God’s mercy. For some reason which only He knows and which I suspect Our Lady had something to do with, He never let me go.

On various occasions I was at the point of leaving everything. I remember that once I went to the chapel to say good-bye to God, to tell Him that I wasn’t going to come back, that I was tired of suffering. As I got up, I opened my prayer book and read, “Do you also wish to leave me?” This was a very important grace for me.

Our Lord has also always placed in my path people who have helped me follow His will. He does not abandon us. We are the ones who abandon Him.

We Speak with Fr.Giovanni Demaria

This time we are going to speak with a missionary of the Pontifical Institute for Foreign Missions. He is Italian and was ordained a priest in 2004. He was then sent to his mission in the Arakan Valley (Kidapawan) on Mindanao Island in the south of the Philippines.

Fr. Giovanni, how old are you?
I am 34 years old.

What was your religious education like during your childhood and youth?
I was born in a Christian family that taught me to see the presence of God and perceive the necessity of honoring this Presence. The life of faith in my family was always lived as an intimate act, a responsibility on both the personal and family level. I do think that my parents in the past had thought that the choice to follow Christianity could become the challenge and adventure of an entire life; however, they truly desired that I should have other experiences (sports, music, languages, traveling, boy scouts) to help me to grow humanly in all aspects. My life of faith has grown in the bosom of my family and in the act of sharing with the boys and girls of my own age who belonged to the Scout group(AGESCI). There I was able to experience and test the faith in Jesus Christ which I had received and lived at home.

At what age did you feel your vocation to the priesthood?
When I was around 22 years old.

Did you first receive the calling to the priesthood and then later to the missions or were they both contained in the same calling?
There were certain moments at that time in which I became well aware in the first place of the Presence of God, then of the desire to consecrate myself to the Lord, then of the uselessness of what I was doing during my days as a student, and finally the need to trust completely.
The valuable treasure I guard is the desire and the consciousness of belonging to the Lord. The joy of being a missionary and the disposition to go wherever are the consequence of the strength with which I perceive that I belong to Him. I also believe that being pilgrims, foreigners, being in the minority forms part of our Christian faith.
The presence and work of a missionary priest of the PIME, who had been my confessor since I was eighteen, was fundamental in my vocation.

Was it difficult for you to respond to Our Lord’s call? What were the greatest restraints or obstacles which you had to overcome?
I needed two years to define and understand in some way what it was that Our Lord wanted of me. When I sensed that this path was the one I had to follow, I did not have interior resistances which impeded me from trusting and beginning this adventure. Nevertheless, I did not understand right away that I had to completely leave my university studies. I thought at first that I had to finish them. Then, after the first months in the seminary, I understood that they were more an obstacle than a help in my path to follow the Lord.

How did your family react to your vocation? What do they think now?
It was hard for my family to accept my decision to follow Our Lord as a priest. My parents have built their entire life around our family and they have sought and lived their joy in it, their human fulfillment, and their Christian life. Unfortunately they perceived my decision to become a priest as opposing the value of the family and of fruitfulness and as a flee from reality and from the complexity of daily life. However, thanks be to God, they have recently seen it with more peace and serenity and sense that my life also hides a beautiful and valuable treasure.

And your friends?
In these years the presence and guide of my confessor and the friendship of several people and families have been of paramount importance. Here is where I have felt loved and understood.

Where have you, a young student of engineering, obtained the strength to leave a future which was humanly very promising to become a priest and missionary?
In reality, when you have an encounter with Our Lord, you intensely perceive only His Presence and the urging need to respond to His love. Before Our Lord and His call, every life and every thing without God loses its attraction and simply disappears. When you see that a certain life is your life, nothing can keep you back (said within parenthesis, because that future was not so promising).

Why did you decide to enter the P.I.M.E (Pontifical Institute for Foreign Missions)? What attracted you?
It was simply because I found a confessor and a spiritual guide in a priest of the PIME who accompanied me in the adventure of Faith towards the encounter with the Lord.

Could you describe a few of your feelings on the day of your ordination to the priesthood? How did you live that day?
The days preceding the ordination, during which I did spiritual exercises, were very intense and very beautiful. There were thirty of us waiting to enter the cathedral. In those days we were to, in some way, deepen our desire for God and open our hearts to be conformed to Him in the sacrament of Holy Orders. In reality, on the day of the ordination itself we remained like spectators admiring such an extraordinary mystery which was much greater than ourselves. I had the grace of being truly present on that day with my entire being, with my heart and in the faith; unfortunately I was a little tense and was not able to welcome calmly and with profound joy all the affection of the people on that day. Now I give thanks to God for all that happened in those days.

What is the priesthood for you?
The specific life in which Our Lord asks me to seek Him and in which He promises me that I shall find Him.

What was your first destination?
I was sent to the mission in the Arakan Valley (Kidapawan) on Mindanao Island in the south of the Philippines. It is above all a work of evangelization and this is what my heart most desires.

What is the situation like there in Mindanao for a Catholic missionary?
In the first years I am going to work with two P.I.M.E. priests, one of whom has been in the Philippines since 1978 and the other since 2000. The social, cultural and religious environment is Muslim. Nevertheless, the mission in the Arakan Valley is directed by tribal populations who are predominantly animists. The greatest contrasts with the Muslims take place in the region surrounding Zamboanga City, which is quite far from my mission, even though it is the location of apostolate for the P.I.M.E. priests.

Are you not afraid for your life?
The truth is that I do not think about it. Nevertheless, I believe that a possible illness or a difficult situation is a (sometimes privileged) opportunity of encounter with God. I rather fear the prolongation of conflictive relations with people that I in reality desire to love.

What work do you do there?
After finishing my studies in the Seboano language in Davao City, I went to the mission in Arakan, in the diocese of Kidapawan, Mindanao. I have lived in Arakan for only seven months and now I am living in a community in Zamboanga City to recover strength and health. The mission in Arakan is one intent among many, with its positive and negative aspects. I lived for four months with a family in the small community of Meocan, 45 minutes away on motorcycle from P.I.M.E. house (we are four priests there altogether). In the first month I stayed with the community and visited the different families. The following month I decided to reach the surrounding commmunities. I left in the morning, frequently walking, and I returned “home” for lunch or sometimes a little later. I would find the leaders of the Christian communities and a few families. In the last two months, during the first days of the week, I would live in the different communities, sleeping with the families whom the leaders indicated to me and would return to Meocan on Wednesday evening.

Could you tell us a few things about your missionary work?
I have been here in this land for a very short period of time and I am still a child. When I reach a Christian community, I ask to visit each family. I listen with astonishment and suffering to what they decide to share. They are usually people who are poor, overwhelmed by the misery in which they live and worried about how to obtain food and not fall ill. They feel the living presence of Our Lord. Their faith is strong, but simple. They often seek the sacraments, especially Baptism, as a protection against evil and illnesses and perhaps to “please God.” They welcome the presence of the priest with joy and they offer him whatever they have: coffee, a little sweet rice and tubers.

Up until now, what has been your greatest satisfaction?
I am happy with this first experience in Arakan. In the first place, because of the wonderful families who have welcomed me into their homes, for the time lived and shared with them (many times in the evening, around the table with the light of a candle, in their poor bamboo house, with the parents and numerous children), and then also for the many young people whom I’ve known. I especially remember two moments among the many.
I left Meocan one morning with about 20 young people. After walking for three houses, barefoot and with the mud up to our waist, crossing corn fields and a few streams, we reached the mission in Arakan to have a three day retreat with the youth in the parish. They were always smiling and making sure that I didn’t stay too far behind...
In Meocan a young couple, who had three children, came up to me and asked to “return” to the Catholic Church. The story was that the parents of the boy had decided to get divorced and as a consequence they abandoned him when he was still small. He didn’t remember ever having been in a Christian community. The girl, a baptized Catholic, for personal reasons had gone to a few Protestant communities. Now, as a family, they wanted to be received into the Catholic community in Meocan. I visited their family for a few months. We read and meditated the Gospels together on Sunday and I tried to explain the Sacraments they were going to receive and the life of grace which these would give them. After they had gone to the parish classes, I was able to baptize the man and their three children and celebrate the wedding of the two parents.

Have you had a strong or amazing experience?
As a priest I have had some moments of profound grace: the Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the weeks preceding Christmas, I visited many communities to celebrate the Eucharist and I found men, women and children waiting to go to confession. Our Lord touches peoples’ hearts and lives in the sacrament of His mercy. I keep in my heart with wonder and I pray for what these people have entrusted to me and the experience that they have had of the mercy and the presence of God in their lives.

What is the most difficult part of your missionary work?
I am in the mission to seek and to follow the Lord. I desire to love Him and serve Him with my life. It is difficult to find a balance between the time and heart which belong to God alone and the passion and strength that the people demand and expect. I recognize my need to protect my health and my faith.

What is the role of the Eucharist in your spiritual life?
It is the time of silence with God and at the same time of His secret Presence. I need to go before the Eucharist in silence to remember the existence of this deep well of living water where we can go to drink every time that we celebrate the mysteries of Christ Our Lord in the life of the Church and in the daily encounter with people on the street. When I go to the altar to celebrate Mass, I find that I have to frequently tell myself that I still do not understand what I am living and, nevertheless, I perceive that this mystery is alive and efficient, especially when I offer my weak humanity together with the bread.

And the role of Our Lady?
I look at Mary in the first place as a woman of faith. I am surprised and attracted by her maternity. I live the prayer of the rosary as a prayer in which I contemplate the mysteries of Christ with Mary.

What would you say to today’s young people?
That there is no greater joy than to belong to Jesus Christ and to begin such a fascinating and demanding adventure: the adventure of the Faith in Him and of service in the missions.

What would you like all the readers of this magazine to pray to Our Lord for you?
That I may look at every day of my life, and also the last day, with Faith.

©HM Magazine No.130 - May/June 2006

Spiritual Alzheimer´s

By Kelly Pezo

My grandparents have been married now for almost fifty-three years. Like any marriage, they have had rough spots and tribulations. There have also been moments of immense joy and love. My grandmother is an amazing wife, mother and grandmother; always concerned for everyone’s well being. With my grandfather she has been too good! You might say that she spoils him! She does do anything for him. But all ten children and all twenty-seven grandchildren agree that they are a beautiful sight to behold, so many years and still so in love.

A few years ago my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It is a progressive and hereditary disease; most of his siblings have already completely lost their minds. Every once in a while he forgets the names of the grandkids or asks, “Whose are you?” And we just smile and say, “I’m Gisela’s” or “I’m Javier’s.” And you just have to keep smiling even after the fifth time he asks.

Lately things have been getting worse, but he has always remembered my grandmother. My grandmother, by the grace of God, has had so much serenity and love. She is sanctifying herself in dealing patiently with his hallucinations, forgetfulness, paranoia, day-long trips to the doctor and all the things that go along with being the wife of an elderly man with Alzheimer’s disease.

Last week my grandmother called my mother crying and told her something that had happened. My grandfather woke up that morning and he did not recognize my grandmother. He failed to know who she was and he refused to believe her when she told him that she was his wife. He demanded proof. So she took out pictures from their fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration and showed them all to him with tears in her eyes. He watched her and he looked at the pictures and he began to realize that she was telling the truth and that it was her, his devoted wife of almost 53 years. He immediately started crying and asking her for forgiveness, and they cried together.

How many times, Lord, are we like that with you?
So quickly we forget all that He has done for us. We do not feel the Lord’s presence and when things start to get harder and it is more difficult to love Him, we ask, “Who are you? I don’t know who you are! Prove it to me!” And He looks at us with a gaze of inexhaustible love and says, “How could you forget me?” Then we begin to think and to reflect on our lives and all the graces we have received and recall how He has been ever present in the good times and in the not so good times. We break down and cry. We cry tears like those of St. Peter after 3 times denying Christ, tears of contrition for having been unfaithful. But our Lord is faithful, for He cannot deny Himself (2 Tim. 2:13.) And although there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, our Lord has given us a remedy for spiritual Alzheimer’s: a place at the foot of the Cross next to the ever-faithful Virgin, who is always interceding for her poor children.

Dearest Mother, health of the sick, teach us to be faithful.