“My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor your ways my ways - so said the Lord - because as far as the heavens are from the earth, thus far are my ways from your ways, and my thoughts from your thoughts” (Is. 55, 8). God had his plans and very soon I was to be incorporated into them. In a few words, this was how I met the Home. This sweet encounter was, for me, totally unforeseeable. And now today, I have been a Servant for more than five years. I still don’t believe it. How good God is! He is always giving us more than we can imagine or ask. All we need to do is to trust in Him... and wait for his surprises. Why do I say this? Listen, and you’ll see.

When I was little I was an altarboy, and my priest one day asked me if I would like to be a priest. I didn’t want to at all and I said to him: “NO!”. But later on I thought more about it, and I remember I said to God: “If nobody wants to be a priest and you really need somebody, I think I could be one”. When I was twenty-four years old, that moment came back to me in such a strong and clear way that I knew, without the slightest doubt, that God was calling me to the priesthood.

This happened about a year or so after the death of my father. And I am certain that he played a big part in all this. Because when he died, I started to look at my life in a different way. I started to think about death. About Heaven and Hell. I started to think about God and about my life in front of Him. About his love and his justice.

Then, with the help of God’s grace (and Mother Angelica’s T.V. channel), my relationship with God became deeper. More personal. As a result of this I started to reflect on my life, and the more I reflected, the more I knew that I needed to change if I wanted to please God.

So I started to pray the Rosary and I returned to the Church. But with a different attitude. I can sincerely say that this changed my life dramatically. A good friend named Louis Bivona helped me a lot in this period and later on. Little by little I broke away from the sins that I loved before and for the first time then I felt the desire to be a priest. But even though I felt this desire, there was a time in which it was very difficult for me to accept it, because I wanted to get married. I remember one time when I was in my car arguing with God about this matter. I clearly remember how I got angry with Him and shouted at Him: “I don’t want to be a priest! I want to get married!”. (Just like a spoilt child). How much patience God had and continues to have with me. It’s funny when you see how things develop, because now, years later, I can’t wait for my ordination. “Nothing is impossible to God!” (Lk. 1, 37).

In 1997, I met Fr. Felix (President-Superior of the Servants) and José María, a lay member of the Home, when they first visited the U.S.. I spent a lot of time with them and I was very impressed. I enjoyed hearing them speak about the Home and its three missions: the defence of the Eucharist, the defence of the honour of Our Mother, especially in the privilege of her virginity, and the conquest of young people for Jesus Christ. This charism really attracted me. So I decided to approach Fr. Felix and talk to him about it. I must say that Fr. Felix played a very special part in all this. I didn’t know priests like him. You could feel his love for Jesus in the Eucharist by just watching him celebrating the holy sacrifice of the Mass. And then there was his sweet affection for Our Lady. All of this, rounded off with his piety and good sense of humour, made it difficult to reject his invitation to spend Christmas with the Servants in Spain. This sounded great to me!!

When I came to Spain, I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m happy I came because I found a little piece of Heaven in the eyes and the smiles of each one of the Servant Priests, Brothers and Sisters. The spirit of Our Lady really lives in the Home!

All of this is a gift that was given to me. To me and to so many others who have come to know the Home, through a personal response, very firm and valiant, by a man who has given his life to the Lord and to Our Blessed Mother so that all of us may enjoy this great gift that is the Home of the Mother. May the Most Holy Trinity and Mary bless our Founder for his courage and generosity in saying “Yes” to God’s plan! Fr. Rafael, continue to be, as you are, the lighthouse that leads us to the light of God. Be that torch that lights up for us the way of holiness, the way to perfect self-giving. The way to that happiness that only God can give us. And may you do it always through the humble and the simple, who have united themselves with God’s plan.

After spending Christmas with the Home, I returned to the States to discern if this was my vocation. I spent quite a while praying to obtain the grace to know and to do the will of God, because I know myself too well. I am a stay-at-home person by nature. I knew that such a drastic change of lifestyle would be hard for me. But my heart told me where I had to be. I was in the States but this heart of mine was already in the Home.

How little faith we have. How easily we forget that God is absolutely in love with every one of us. He only asks one thing: that we accept that love, trusting in Him and in his divine Providence. We can only find that peace that we are seeking with so much longing in the fulfillment of his Holy Will. If God is calling you, to the priesthood or to the consecrated life, don’t delay. Let Him love you the way He wants to. Isn’t God your Father? He knows what He is doing. He himself tells you: “How well I know the thoughts I have about you - so says the Lord - thoughts of peace, and not of misfortune, to give you a future of hope. You will call upon Me and you will come to pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and you will find Me when you look for Me with all your heart; I will let myself be found by you - so says the Lord” (Jer. 29, 11-14). BELIEVE HIM!

© HM Magazine No. 112 - May/June 2003