Ed and Grace Donovan are a married couple that presently live in Middletown, Delaware (USA). Ed was born in Wilmington, Delaware and Grace in Buenos Aires, Argentina. After immigrating to the United States in 1964, she met Ed. They have now been married thirty-six years and have eleven children.

How did you meet?
 We met at a DuPont Company picnic on July 16, 1970.

Have you always had faith?
Grace: Yes, but I did not internalize it until May 1983.

Ed: Yes, my parents made sure we prayed before meals and bedtime.

Could you tell us a little bit about your own faith journey?
Grace: I was born and raised Catholic but my parents did not attend Mass regularly. My grandfather, Pepe, was very devoted and made sure I went to Church and practiced devotions. He was my best example of faith as a child and love and reverence for God as a child. Until May 1983, I was easily influenced by the world and bought into the idea of self-fulfillment through a career and success.  Through a "Life in the Spirit Seminar" at Church, I came to realize that to fulfill that, I would have to sacrifice time with my family and that was not God's will for me.  As a result, after 6 children and thinking our family was complete, we had 5 more children. It seems once we said yes to God and started trusting Him completely, our marriage and family life became better and we were able to handle the difficulties of everyday life with faith, hope and love.

Ed: I grew up in a Methodist family and attended Sunday School but no regular services except at Easter (sunrise service).  I later befriended Catholic people and was gradually exposed to the Catholic faith. Monsignor Paul Taggart of the Diocese of Wilmington, Delaware, instructed me in the faith and was instrumental in my becoming Catholic; we developed a good relationship.  Later, my faith has developed through spiritual readings, especially G.K. Chesterton and C.S. Lewis.  This has triggered growth but I still struggle with certain beliefs of the Catholic Church.

What was your courtship like?
Our courtship was relatively short (one year) because we were older (23 and 27 years old) and knew what kind of person we wanted as our partner for life.

What helped you most during your courtship? Did you have to renounce certain things?
   Even though our faith was not at the center of our lives, the family values were very important.  We knew it was not proper to live together before marriage and how this could affect or offend our families.

How did you discern your vocation to marriage?
 The desire to find the right person with whom to spend the rest of our life was formed by living with our own families.  Even though I (Grace) considered the religious life while I was in college, I prayed to God to show me what He wanted me to do with my life. Gradually He showed me that the best way to serve Him would be as a wife and mother.

What was and is your idea of marriage?
Grace: I entered marriage with the belief that it is a sacrament and a life long commitment. Through the years, it has developed into a deeper understanding as the road of holiness, mutual love and sacrifice.
Ed: I was raised in a family where marriages were solid and a life time commitment. Marriage has many trials and tribulations. I believe there is someone God has specifically for us but not everyone recognizes this.

We are impressed by how much you love each other. Could you tell us how you have preserved and how you revive this love after so many years?
Our love is preserved and revived when we spend time together praying, talking, going out, eating together or traveling.  In other words, we spend a great time of our lives together although at times we need to be alone. It is a balance between sharing time together and giving each other time to do activities and devotions that we enjoy on our own.

Nowadays there are many broken marriages. Where is the key to your fidelity?
 Our fidelity is based on faith, the promise we made when we were married to share everything in life, sacraments and devotions.  We also appreciate what each one contributes to the marriage and the opportunity to learn from each other.

Why do so many marriages fail and why are people so afraid of commitment? How have you overcome the difficult moments?
  We believe marriages fail nowadays due to selfishness.  The world teaches us that we must do what pleases us without regard for others.  Materialism draws us away from God.  It is impossible not to have difficulties in a marriage; we need to give time, consider how the other person faces problems, forgiveness and find common ground.  Marriage is for life.

Have you always wanted a large family?
Grace: Because I come from a family of mostly girls, I wanted to have 5 sons.  But God, who has a sense of humor, gave us 9 daughters and 2 sons.

Ed: I have always prayed for a large family but did not put a number to it.

How did you live the moments of your children's births?
Our love has brought us 11 children.  It is anti-cultural not to plan how many children to have; we always say our children were not planned but they were all wanted.  God has provided and continues to provide for all our needs.

Is it important to have similar values when you raise your children? What was your experience?
Yes, it is very important to have similar values when raising children.  It is crucial for parents to present a united front when disciplining children; these limitations give them security.

Was the education of your children difficult? What were the greatest obstacles?
The greatest challenges come from the world around us.  Because of society's insidious influence and great temptations, it is difficult to protect our children from bad influences.

Is it a burden to have so many children?
Children are a great responsibility but also a great blessing.  We get much satisfaction seeing our children loving each other, so united and enjoying each other's company.

What is the most important thing you have given your children?
The most important thing we have given our children is unconditional love and faith in God.

How do you deal with moments of suffering?
Grace: Every morning I recite the morning offering giving all my joys, works and sufferings to God.  I see suffering as having redeeming value when united to Christ's sufferings on the cross.
Ed: I internalize it and tend to withdraw. I seek quiet and pray for strength to deal with it.

What role has the providence of God played in your life?
God knows all our needs and He is always faithful.  At times of suffering, financial need, sickness, He has provided for us in unexpected ways with abundant grace. By being open to the gift of life, God has opened up opportunities that have allowed us to provide for all our children. There are still a lot of challenges in dealing with our children's education and other needs; it is an ongoing journey.

What has given you the greatest happiness in your marriage?
The greatest happiness in our marriage has been to witness the family we have formed and watch our children form their own families with love and faith.
Ed, what is it that you most admire in your wife?
Ed: I most admire Grace because she is genuine, her love for family, her faith and her wisdom.

Grace, what do you most admire in your husband?
I most admire Ed because he is a man of integrity, honesty, generosity and love.

Now when you look back, what are your thoughts?
When we look back, we are amazed to see what we have accomplished with God's help.  We need to enjoy the moment confident that God accompanies us each day, guiding us with infinite mercy.  That is how we have been able to face all that life has to offer.

©HM Magazine No. 141 March/April 2008