We Speak with Ángel and Scarlett
Could you introduce yourselves?
S: Hi, my name is Scarlett Cuadros. I am 21 years old and I am in charge of the Youth Groups in my area, North Chone (Ecuador). I belong to the Missionaries of Love Youth Group. I have been in the group four years now and I wouldn´t change that for anything in the world.
A: Hi, my name is Ángel Vélez. I am 22 years old. I belong to the Marian Youth Groups of St. Vincent. I have been there for 6 years now and it is where I truly met Jesus Christ.
Do you study or work?
S: At the moment I am not working. Also, I am in the fifth year of accounting and auditing.
A: I work in the Father Fitzgerald Foundation, where I am in charge of the computer lab. I also study accounting and auditing (I am Scarlett’s classmate). I also study computer science in another university.
What do you understand by courtship? How did yours begin?
Courtship is nothing more than a preparation for marriage. It is a stage in which the dreams, the experiences, and the work that will be shared for an entire lifetime are defined. So, that is why we believe in not skipping the stage of being friends, because only then can one build on rock and not on sand.
We met each other at the university. We then received the opportunity of working together in the parish and that is where our friendship began. With the passing of time, he realized that he loved me and I realized that I felt the same way about him. In the end, however, we said, thanks be to God, that it was worth waiting. I remember telling God: "Lord, where will that man be who loves me and values me, who supports me in my interests? Lord, where is he?" But at 18 years of age, Our Lord replied and sent me a prince on a motorcycle and not on a white horse. This year it will be three years since we began our very beautiful relationship and all of it is thanks to Jesus.
What is most important in your relationship?
The most important thing is the dialogue and the trust that we have in each other. This is key.
Do the other’s defects help you?
Yes. At the beginning, as is the case in any relationship, I know it is difficult for us to tell each other our defects. However, with the passing of time, we realized how important it is to help each other overcome our faults. Whenever we talk, we always try to say things with simplicity, so that neither one of us feels bad. For example, I had a very strong character, but with Ángel's help, I have changed my character.
When you get upset, how do you solve the problem?
Well! We almost never argue. We get along fine, but whenever it happens, we never go back to our homes completely angry with each other. We solve the problem by talking it over.
Is dialogue and sincerity important in your relationship?
S: Yes, they are very important elements, because only in this way can you get to know the other person and can, as a human being, help the other in his/her defects and bring out his/her virtues.
A: That is for sure, because without these two, we would not be able to sustain the beautiful thing we call love.
Which of Ángel’s qualities stand out most to you?
S: He is a very special person because he is also my friend. Among his qualities, I can mention that he is sincere, sweet, and kind. He is good at communicating and is always serving. In addition to all that, he may have a million problems, but he always has a smile on his face.
And you, Ángel, what stands out to about Scarlett?
Well… I would start with her kindness, because she can always look beyond appearances. She is always willing to help. She is also joyful and understanding.
What plans do you have for the future?
To have a marriage where God continues to be our center, where we work together and we have many children. But the important thing is to do what God wants, even if that means that we are not called to have children of our own, but to adopt.
Who is God in your lives?
He is the center of all our actions. If it weren’t for Him, we wouldn’t have met each other. Throughout our lives, we have come to understand that God always gives us what we need and not all we ask for is good. He, as our father, always makes sure that we have what is best and we do not complain about anything. We have never lacked love, friends, family, and special persons.
What is purity? Do you believe that it is possible in a courting relationship?
S: Purity is being in the state of grace before God and, of course, it is possible in a relationship, especially when one has Mother Mary present as an example of womanhood, in every meaning of the word. Here is where love towards God the Father plays an important role.
A: For me, purity is also being in the state of grace before God. If we seek it as humans, we won’t find it. Prayer strengthens us.
What role does Our Lady play in your relationship?
She is our tender Mother who always carries us in her arms. She is the one who watches over our lives so that we may be totally Christ’s. She is an example of life and womanhood. We have put our relationship in her hands. We have asked her that, if we form a family, that it be like that of her own sweet home.
What is love? How do you sustain it?
God is love. Love is not to agree about everything, but to, in spite of disagreements, continue to be in love. Love is undertanding. It is sustained by a smile, a call, a hug, forgiveness, and by always giving thanks to God for the gift of being together.
Do young people have a thirst for God?
I wouldn’t say thirst, but dehydration and not from a lack of water (God). It is rather because, with our way of life, we have not been told or taught who God is, whether it be due to our selfishness, work, parents, or sometimes the religious themselves who unintentionally wound young people by not listening to them. All of us who belong to the Catholic Church, as Martin Valverde says, have the obligation not of testing to see if we know God, but of demonstrating that we do.
What type of apostolate do you do?
S: I am completely dedicated to the youth pastoral ministry in my parish and I work with children in the Missionary Children’s group.
A: I am in charge of the youth in the Marian Youth Groups of St. Vincent.
Why do you not belong to the same apostolic group?
A: A good response would be, “Ask God.” He called me to the Marian Youth Groups of St. Vincent, to live the spirit of service. I have to do it well. The different charisms make up the Body of Christ. There are those dedicated to prayer, there are missionaries, etc. It is the perfect complement for a good relationship that is called to marriage.
Could you tell an experience of God that has helped you both?
A: Of course, how could I not have one to tell? It was two years ago that God chose me to be a missionary outside my province. When they told me, I said yes., without thinking any more about it. It is important to emphasize that I do not have siblings, so it was a bit hard for me to tell my mom and for her to let me go. The day arrived and I was very happy. When we got there, they sent us out. When I reached the house where I would be staying, there was a rock and I sat there, observing the scenery, asking myself: “How quickly time passes. I am here now. Where had I gotten the courage to leave my parents, Scarlett, and my friends?” God had a surprise waiting for me when I was able to share testimonies, meals, games, etc. with them. I lived what is called “Christian Community.” This experience helped me to understand what is important and what I value, which are: my friends, my parents, Scarlett, and the great things that God can do, if we let Him act.
S: I think the question should be... in what has He not helped me? He blessed me with a true family when I was 12 years old and saved my mother from cancer of the uterus about two years ago . When I found out about the test she had to do to see if she had cancer or not, I don’t know how many hours I spent crying, thinking about what could happen. I prayed a lot to the Holy Spirit, asking God to let me suffer in her place, knowing that my little brother needed her more than he needed me. Eight days after the biopsy, I heard the answer: Negative.
This event helped strengthen my prayer and from that same day on, I began to value my parents and siblings more. I understood that we are God’s, and He gives me life and parents. And one day we will return to Him.
Working in the youth pastoral ministry helps me to discover the capacity I have to give myself to others, to break with all my fears, to go where they need me, and to be with youth of diverse charisms.
Is it difficult for you both to maintain your faith in your surroundings?
Yes, it is a bit difficult to keep the faith, especially when we are confronted with a dying world in which God is the god of aspirin, who is only sought when something hurts. It is difficult, because over the course of my time, working with young people, you hear things like: “And where was God when my dad kicked me out of the house? Where was He when Mom and Dad got divorced? Why are there children and old people on the streets? These are questions to which as a young Christian you must respond, considering the fact that the young person understands that God was, is, and will be there always. But He does not force or oblige anyone to love or to work together for the good of the others.
So, that is why we want to rescue children and young people in order to show them the importance of following Jesus’ way of life in our own lives. In addition, there are those of us who are convinced of the One who loves and accepts us as our Father.
How can children and youth be helped nowadays?
The only thing that will help us today, tomorrow, and always is LOVE. As young people we are aware of our battle with the world, but we know that what we have to do is act now.
In order to help children and young people, we have to get involved in their world, so that we can save them, help each and everyone in his situation, that is to say, accept them as they are.
We have to find activities and be able to bring out their hidden talents, because sometimes they themselves do not even know what they are capable of. We have to keep them occupied with something simple yet productive.
I should point out the work that the young people in my parish do. They work with child care programs and soup kitchens. They are catechists and work with the missionary children.
These areas of service are those that will allow the education of the children and not the chastisement of man.
Scarlett, what is it that worries you most, as a representative of the youth ministry in the area of northern Chone?
What worries me most is how we young people allow ourselves to forget our human and religious values. What also worries me is the intensity with which the world is absorbed in television, radio, internet, consumerism, rock. All this fills young people with dreams. I think it is a battle between the world and God. Making them change their opinions is a great struggle. Here is an example. We were doing a recycling campaign to raise funds for the Youth Ministry Convention that is held in Chone. Benito and I were collecting plastic bottles and some young people were staring at us and said, “I wouldn’t do that here, or in Spain, or anywhere.” I didn’t respond, but I thought how sad it was to see this way of thinking. I didn’t put too much importance on this comment. But Benito replied, “Well, I do this here, I would do it in Spain, and I would do it anywhere.” It was those young people that convinced me that we have to keep fighting.
Another important factor is the separation of the families, because those that emigrate are almost always mother and father. The young people stay with third parties that take care of them, but it is not the same as the tender love of a mother or the good counsel of a father.
To finish up, would you like to say something to our readers ?
Yes! Dear young people, we must always listen to the voice in our heart, which is the voice of the Living Christ. We cannot allow ourselves to be dragged down by consumerism. May we always be unique, because that is what we are! Never doubt about the infinite love of Our Father, and ask Mother Mary to guide you always in every responsibility you face. Never doubt about what you can do, but do not do things because “it feels good.” This comes when you love and give without expecting something in return. Think about all that we can do with Love.
©HM Magazine No.126 - September/October 2005
