By Fr. Rafael Alonso
Mamie had always dreamed of having a family with many children. At least twelve. She had a great esteem for life. Her family had consisted of four members and her grandmother: her mother, her father, her sister and herself. She knew well what a small family was. Nevertheless, when she thought of getting married and forming a family, she wanted a bigger one. She had such a big heart that a husband and one or two children was not enough for her.
However, God did not permit her to have this family. She married Francois Treuttens at a young age. In her second pregnancy, after having her daughter Simone, she underwent a terrible discovery. Her pregnancy was extrauterine. As a consequence, her pregnancy could not continue forward and she had to have an operation. The result of this operation was the impossibility of having more children, not to mention other consequences which were not at all to be undermined.
Mamie's heart always continued to be open to giving love to others. She never looked only at herself, but rather was always ready to help others, to listen to them, to understand them, to esteem them, to counsel them and to serve them.
I have a photograph before me of a family gathering, consisting mainly of elderly people. In it, around two tables that form the letter T, are Mamie and her husband, Mamie's mother and her aunt, and four other people, one of whom is a child. They are drinking a cup of coffee. There is an ash tray on the table, a few cups, a camera, a pair of glasses, a few plates with forks, knives, a sugar bowl, etc. A homely atmosphere in which the people appear to be relaxed and attentive to the conversation, while smoking a cigarette which at that time was not yet persecuted.
There is no worry or care on their faces. On the other hand, they listen attentively with a loving gaze. Mamie, with her glasses, a bun in her hair and a sweater on her back, holds a cigarette in her right hand and her left hand is placed affably on her aunt's shoulder, who is sitting at her left in a wooden chair. The domestic virtues shine forth: peace, trust, attention, respect, and affection.
There is nothing that is sophisticated. They are wearing slippers. What must have been the conversation that they held in this family environment? Undoubtedly it was a conversation where amiable concepts were passed around in a relaxed conversation. A clock above the small fireplace shows that the time is 6:35.
This article could seem ridiculous. The author, someone might say, focuses on trivialities. However, when a society has lost the serenity and joy of living together as a family, what is left? Isn't this precisely what must be recovered? Isn't this what we must re-assess? Isn't a society that knows how to tranquilly rest as a family after a day of hard work safeguarded against many dangers? Against fear, division, and necessity?
Mamie knew this art well, which so many consider a "waste of time." It is the art of knowing how to dialogue, to transmit values, ideas, experiences, and observations.
The speed of life was not maddening. It was a human pace because ideas need time to alight; experiences need time to be assimilated; the transmission of a set of values, the intercommunication of these values needs time, time to sit around a table with a cup of coffee, in a more or less comfortable chair, and talk.
©HM Magazine No.129 - March/April 2006
